Haunting past

The past is in the past

Sweet then

Repulsive now

Never thought I’d regret ever

Was one of the best things that ever happened

Thought nothing could be more better

Or more beautiful

Was never ready to let it go ever

It was my light source

My reason to be what I was

I clang to it for mere life

Scraped every inch of my sanity

Just to keep it alive

Almost gave up my dignity in the process

Cried endless nights to plead for it to stay

Begged every possible way

Broke my heart several times

To millions of pieces

Only after it sucked the existence out of me

I got to know

That it was all a lie

A sham

I was used

I have been cheated

Two long years

When all along I was thinking it was a precious gift

I stand now

No plans of looking back

Dignity lost

Still ashamed, dirty

For not realizing soon

I can never be the same

The two sides

Single woman alone swinging on the beach and looking the other seat missing a boyfriend

On the other side

We’re together

Holding hands

Fingers interlaced

Love, passion, adoration

Soft, tender kisses

Melting us

Tight, strong hugs

Bringing us closer

Whispers of sweet nothings

Looking into each other’s eyes

Nothing’s told loud

Everything is said and understood

The warmth we radiate

The passion we share

Each passing hour

More to our love, more to us

It’s nothing but perfection

Just like it’s meant to be

While here on the real side

I look at you

Waiting, hoping, dying inside

You have no idea

You never noticed

I keep hoping


That one day you may glance

Think, consider


Make it true

Heal, mend

I wait

In love



Some laugh it loud

Some keep it all bowed

Some cry their straining grief

Some forget and turn a new leaf

Some shoe their burning pain

Some try to mask that stain

Some keep worrying,brooding

Some don’t quit moving

Some keep getting found and lost

Some don’t halt at any cost

Some lock all their tears away

Some burst it open astray

Some like keeping their head held high

Some let their murky pride die

Some fight every moment, stand upright

Some can’t withstand,submit to fright

Some crumble inside,give a tough front

Some hard as steel,don’t even grunt

Some don’t even bother,don’t just care

Some so giving,everything they share

Some,so mellow,soft and meek

Some harsh,uptight,cold and bleak

We all have our differences,changes and rattles

Yet we’re all survivors of our own battles

Snap out of it

dreamlike-reality-fantasy (9).preview

Why keep running?

Why so disappointed?

If they don’t see what’s in you

If they can’t bother to acknowledge your existence

If they keep forgetting

Or don’t remember anything in the first place

They don’t care or bother

Don’t value

Don’t recognize you even

Admit it

You may need it

You may be needy

When the odds aren’t in your favor

Or nothing at all is on your side

Why keep repeating the same thing?

Why always?

When you know it won’t come to you

Or it’s not yours at all, maybe

Why waste your heartbeat?

Thumping loud out of your chest

Why break to an endless paranoia?

When they don’t even have an idea what’s going on

Not a bit, not a speck

It’s your hallucination, things that may never happen

Snap out of it

Good for you

There’s no difference you’re dead or alive

Living or lost



It’s as if nothing truly exists

As if the concept of truth itself is not true

We search for the truth

We think we’ve found it

We revel,marvel in the bliss it offers

Not so soon,we soon find out

That the bliss was a mist and the fog has disappeared

All you got was….what do you even call it?

From misery to joy and back to despair

The quest,once so attractive though far-fetching

Now it has no charm,not even existence

We’re back to the beginning

Only with a zing of enlightenment

Maybe it existed,or still exists

Give it up


Give it up

When you see the light is gone

Give it up

When you can’t feel the feel no more

When the meaning is gone

What’s in holding on?

When the purpose is forgotten

What’s in fighting hard?

When the breath is already spent

You don’t water a lifeless plant

Then why watering a dead cause

You don’t live a deceased life

Then why watering a departed hope

Accept it

Though grueling it maybe

Be cynical

If that’s meant to be

In order to thrive


Is it a stigma?

Is it a rule?

Is it compulsory?

Is it so crucial?

Aren’t we masters of our destiny?

Don’t we own the right?

To rule it as we wish

To ruin it as we please

What’s with all the mockery?

And the ridiculous stupid scorn

The rubbish garbage piles

Of imbeciles, fools and rogues

Patience going loose

Can’t do it, no not more

Slam their face, that’s what I feel

That’d be too easy

Not even necessary

The frustration builds up

Reddening the anger

I control my annoyance

Try clearing my head

Fools will always be fools

Why should I let them get to me?

Need to be strong

To live it up and live

Need to be tough

To make it worth the live

Surviving, not living


Saying no to something you’d kill for

Cravings you can’t control

Desire you can’t put an end to

Longing, trying too hard to resist

Yearning dying too bad to combust

Wish, wistful to be fulfilled

Aspiration strongly to be achieved

So many wants, wanting

Goals waiting

Targets raising, yet uncared

Stakes higher than ever

Yet there’s no stir, no emotion

Not a hope or answer

Not an inch of progress

Not a spur of belief

Faith is gone

Life is bleak and dark

Reason is lost

So is the purpose

What’s there to be?

What’s there to exist?

If there’s no sense in living

No chance in surviving

An Open Letter To All Of My Friends Who Take Selfies

The Belle Jar

Dear Friends Who Take Selfies,

I want you to know that I love it when you post pictures of yourself. I know selfies get a lot of bad press, but I think they’re rad. They give me a little window into your life, and you’d be amazed at how much I can get out of one little photo.

I love your pictures because I love seeing what you’re wearing – the outfits you build give me ideas about how to mix it up with my own wardrobe, and seeing you work your shit gives me courage to try clothing that I otherwise might have thought was too outlandish or revealing.

I love seeing how you do your hair and makeup. You look like a hot babe and I wish you would make YouTube tutorials explaining how you get your eyeliner just so. I want you to post pictures every time you change your…

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