Threatening Walls

I turned the switch off

Of everything that numbs me

The emotions that weaken me

I don’t cry anymore, but

They’re welling up inside

I built walls strong enough

For them to withhold

To withstand their sheer force

Impervious to hurt anymore

I laugh instead of shedding tears

I don’t know if the walls are strong enough

Because, deep inside

The tears are accumulating

Threatening me

The walls might crack

I have no idea

What to do when they break down?

Can I handle the tsunami ?

The waves of emotions

That might break open surging

The death of flood

That might wash me away

Can I survive if the disaster occurs?

And build them back again?

As of now

I’m strong, maybe

Snap out of it

Why keep running?

Why so disappointed?

If they don’t see what’s in you

If they can’t bother to acknowledge your existence

If they keep forgetting

Or don’t remember anything in the first place

They don’t care or bother

Don’t value

Don’t recognize you even

Admit it

You may need it

You may be needy

When the odds aren’t in your favor

Or nothing at all is on your side

Why keep repeating the same thing?

Why always?

When you know it won’t come to you

Or it’s not yours at all, maybe

Why waste your heartbeat?

Thumping loud out of your chest

Why break to an endless paranoia?

When they don’t even have an idea what’s going on

Not a bit, not a speck

It’s your hallucination, things that may never happen

Snap out of it

Good for you

There’s no difference you’re dead or alive

Living or lost

Quench

Hungry,

For answers left

Answers much needed

The benefit of doubt

The side-effects

Now suffering

Starving,

Questions left

With ambiguities

The mystery

Keeps the wait

Burning and alive

Dying ,

Though might know

What’s in store?

Might be lethal

Sleep red

Burning eyes

Stinging red

I’m wide awake

Can’t go to bed

Sing me a song

Cuddle me tight

I need some snuggling

Some kisses if you might

My bed’s empty

So am I

I don’t want to sleep alone

I cry