Heart of my heart

In the heart of my heart
Buried deep, so deep
Lies a tiny little chest of scars
Locked forever to sleep
“Wake”, said the pounding
Of my heart so weak
“Wake”, said my being
Ever so bleak
The little chest quivered
And began to queak

Same, different

Even after a million times
It’s the same
But always different.

Decisions

Decisions, decisions
Not easy
Time’s ticking
The walls are closing in
I’m still contemplating
Decisions, decisions
There’s no time
Not anymore

Eyelids

Tired eyelids
Begging to fall asleep
Pleading to stay awake

Lost

I’m lost
Lost beyond comprehension
Lost beyond reality
Lost to infinity
Lost to many forevers
Lost and immortal

Free myself

The language we speak
These masks we keep
I don’t want to see this
I want to free myself
To the point of no return

I thought wrong

I thought
I was unlucky
But I’m not
I found love
Again

Buried

I buried them deep
Deep, deep inside
Never to bring them
Up to the surface
Ever again
Never again

I tried

I tried to be happy
I tried, trust me
I smiled
I laughed aloud
I tried, I did
I thought I numbed my pain
I turned my feelings off
I acted insane
I acted like a dork
I was goofy
I was
I grinned
I joked
At my expense
At mine, mine alone
I thought it’s true, this joy
This smile I plastered
The laughs I crackled
It hurt
It hurt to smile
It hurt to laugh
I tried, still, I did
Tears tried to make a grand entry
Saying
They were my only truest mates
Without any falseness
I could cry
Cry aloud
But afraid I was
My fear
Tears were indeed my truest pals
They were original and pure
Yet I tried
To smile
For I almost mastered
The art
Didn’t I?

Her escape