Haunting past

The past is in the past

Sweet then

Repulsive now

Never thought I’d regret ever

Was one of the best things that ever happened

Thought nothing could be more better

Or more beautiful

Was never ready to let it go ever

It was my light source

My reason to be what I was

I clang to it for mere life

Scraped every inch of my sanity

Just to keep it alive

Almost gave up my dignity in the process

Cried endless nights to plead for it to stay

Begged every possible way

Broke my heart several times

To millions of pieces

Only after it sucked the existence out of me

I got to know

That it was all a lie

A sham

I was used

I have been cheated

Two long years

When all along I was thinking it was a precious gift

I stand now

No plans of looking back

Dignity lost

Still ashamed, dirty

For not realizing soon

I can never be the same

Snap out of it

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Why keep running?

Why so disappointed?

If they don’t see what’s in you

If they can’t bother to acknowledge your existence

If they keep forgetting

Or don’t remember anything in the first place

They don’t care or bother

Don’t value

Don’t recognize you even

Admit it

You may need it

You may be needy

When the odds aren’t in your favor

Or nothing at all is on your side

Why keep repeating the same thing?

Why always?

When you know it won’t come to you

Or it’s not yours at all, maybe

Why waste your heartbeat?

Thumping loud out of your chest

Why break to an endless paranoia?

When they don’t even have an idea what’s going on

Not a bit, not a speck

It’s your hallucination, things that may never happen

Snap out of it

Good for you

There’s no difference you’re dead or alive

Living or lost