Living, no, not alive!

I live a life
A life without a soul
I’m living
I breathe
Every second of my existence
A painful torture
Excruciating hell
I live, I’m living
For the world, a story to tell
I cause no ripples
I’m static
I’m here
I live with no acceptance
For the truth, and my wrath
I write senseless scribbles
To sustain my breath
I’m living, yes
Am I alive? No,no.

I tried

I tried to be happy
I tried, trust me
I smiled
I laughed aloud
I tried, I did
I thought I numbed my pain
I turned my feelings off
I acted insane
I acted like a dork
I was goofy
I was
I grinned
I joked
At my expense
At mine, mine alone
I thought it’s true, this joy
This smile I plastered
The laughs I crackled
It hurt
It hurt to smile
It hurt to laugh
I tried, still, I did
Tears tried to make a grand entry
They were my only truest mates
Without any falseness
I could cry
Cry aloud
But afraid I was
My fear
Tears were indeed my truest pals
They were original and pure
Yet I tried
To smile
For I almost mastered
The art
Didn’t I?