I tried

I tried to be happy
I tried, trust me
I smiled
I laughed aloud
I tried, I did
I thought I numbed my pain
I turned my feelings off
I acted insane
I acted like a dork
I was goofy
I was
I grinned
I joked
At my expense
At mine, mine alone
I thought it’s true, this joy
This smile I plastered
The laughs I crackled
It hurt
It hurt to smile
It hurt to laugh
I tried, still, I did
Tears tried to make a grand entry
They were my only truest mates
Without any falseness
I could cry
Cry aloud
But afraid I was
My fear
Tears were indeed my truest pals
They were original and pure
Yet I tried
To smile
For I almost mastered
The art
Didn’t I?

Threatening Walls

I turned the switch off

Of everything that numbs me

The emotions that weaken me

I don’t cry anymore, but

They’re welling up inside

I built walls strong enough

For them to withhold

To withstand their sheer force

Impervious to hurt anymore

I laugh instead of shedding tears

I don’t know if the walls are strong enough

Because, deep inside

The tears are accumulating

Threatening me

The walls might crack

I have no idea

What to do when they break down?

Can I handle the tsunami ?

The waves of emotions

That might break open surging

The death of flood

That might wash me away

Can I survive if the disaster occurs?

And build them back again?

As of now

I’m strong, maybe

The Little Child Within

There’s a little child inside

Trembling with fear unknown

Even terrified to raise her head

To take a peek outside

Sitting in the darkest corner

Knees pulled to her face

Hands covering her eyes

She cries in tiny sobs


Stained are her cheeks

Of tears dried

She has no idea

Why it’s so dark

She has no idea

What’s happening to her

She just lies there

For eternity knows when

With questions unanswered

Wisdom beyond her reach

After all

Awful image she is

Of the child I am within


Is anyone out there?
Who’d bother to care?
Is anyone out there?
Who’ll bother to dare?
Is anyone out there?
To make my gloom rare
Is anyone out there?
To drive away my nightmare
Is anyone out there?
To wipe my falling tear
Is anyone out there?
To pull me out of this snare
Is anyone out there?
Who into my depths can stare?
Is anyone out there?
Who’d, my grieves share?
Is anyone out there?
To bear my soul bare
Is anyone out there?
Please tell me where